“If you have sworn to drunk that you’re not God” and you’re under 21, chances are you could benefit from trying out a new activity to give you the college experience you’ve always dreamed of.

For instance, instead of downing a shot glass of liquor, why not try the cinnamon challenge? It will still leave you with a burning sensation in your throat and some good laughs without getting you hammered. And if you think that’s missing the purpose of shot glass liquor, consider these outcomes: Make a gut-wrenching video about you and some friends doing the cinnamon challenge, and you could end up with some “likes” on Facebook, along with that warm and fuzzy feeling that accompanies having done something juvenile — which is college spirit at its best.

Resort to shot glasses, and you could find out the next day that you were the star of the halftime show at Autzen Stadium because you danced in a uniquely ridiculous fashion to the tune of the marching band’s Gangnam Style.
Have some TV nights with friends at your dorm, apartment or at the Global Scholars Hall (GSH) where you may easily find 32-inch plasma screen TVs and studious underage honors college students who will make you feel better about your sobriety. Watch “The Big Bang Theory” and see Raj manage to get himself drunk off of nonalcoholic beer. Or, if you can’t make it to the Oregon football game one day, just watch it on TV. The Ducks have a funny habit of making some teams look like they’re playing drunk.
There are also occasionally cool movies to see at the GSH. Sometimes food is available afterwards, so you may eat yourself into a food-induced coma rather than drink yourself into an alcohol-induced one.
Maybe you are the sort of person who likes to play games. Forget about those drinking games. Try card games. Learn how to count cards so that you can get a perfect 21 in Blackjack every time. Compare the happiness you feel then to the happiness you’ll feel upon turning 21 years old. Master your poker game; start with your poker face, which is almost always easier to control when alcohol isn’t contorting your every reaction.
How about an all-nighter? (Sorry, professors). It’s nearly every college student’s goal to pull one off at one time or another. Surprisingly, alcohol might not do the trick. Whip out the Red Bull! Not only does it keep you awake, it gives you wings. Now you can truly say you are a duck.
Become involved in sports — intramural, club or team. Rumor has it there might even be a Quidditch team some day that will serve butterbeer to all participants. Oh, don’t raise your hopes too high, it’s practically nonalcoholic in the muggle and wizarding world. Goblins are the only exception.
Travel to Portland. That’s where all the concerts are. Get introduced to new bands, new kinds of music and new bizarrely interesting ways to react to music. However, death metal band concerts incorporate the most hardcore sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, so you might want to avoid those for the time being — not that Portland would host too many of them, anyway. If Portland is too far of a trek, though, stay at the University to see free concerts from A Capella group On the Rocks and other musical performers.
Want more free entertainment? Search around campus for free giveaways … seriously. It’s college — free stuff is good. Not too long ago there was a Best Buy booth at the University that gave away headphones. Fred Meyer constantly has addicting price cuts and somehow less appealing but hey-at-least-it’s-free items (one of them being Red Bull). Always keep your eyes peeled for new places to give out free stuff.
We live on one of the most beautiful campuses in the nation — I mean, it better be with all the rain and grey skies. It would be a shame if that went to waste. So go on a nature walk around campus. Hike up the mountains that are near campus. It’s a beautiful experience, but you’d better believe that there’s a two percent chance you’ll run into a bear, and you don’t want to be drunk for that.