Dear Nat: I’m in a really devastating situation. My mother can’t stand my boyfriend, whom I’m pretty serious about and have been dating for two years. There are certain aspects of his personality that bother her, which I don’t understand because he is so likable to everyone else. She tells me we should not stay together permanently because her dislike for him will cause awkwardness in future family gatherings. Should my mother’s opinion matter if I think this is really love?

–Poor Daughter in Love
Dear Poor Daughter: Every girl envisions a perfect Norman Rockwell family situation when she brings home the love of her life for the first time. She hopes they can all sit down to a formal dinner, her parents will find him sweet and charming, and time will eventually lead her into a joyous family wedding and warm family get-togethers around the Christmas tree. In reality, things just don’t always work out that way. The mate a daughter chooses is her own pick, and the guy may not be a perfect match for her mom and pop. That’s why so many horror-scenario movies have been made about in-laws! If your honey fits you like a glove, then I see your mate criteria as being completely fulfilled. You will be the one spending time with this man for as long as you choose, not your mother. So erase the image of your mom’s angry face from your mind whenever your boy is around and enjoy the moment. Sure, it would be nice for your mother and your boyfriend to become buddies, but creating that friendship is out of your control. You’ve already done all you can to make the relationship wonderful. You can try to tweak the situation by informing your mother of all the sweet things your boyfriend does for you and by steering clear of telling her his annoying habits. Tell your sweetie to be on his best, most polite, humble behavior while around your mother, and she just may be won over. If this partnership ever blossoms into marriage, I have a feeling your mother will set aside her incompatibilities with your guy and appreciate him because she knows how much you do. If she remains stubborn, have your future celebration and get-together fantasies include close friends and other family members, and don’t feel blue about it. Your mother’s choice to be uninvolved would be her loss, not yours.
 
Dear Nat: I’ve heard that smoking pot affects your memory. I’ve been smoking pot since I got to college two years ago, but I have always been a good student. Now I’m wondering if I’ll have no memory of college when I graduate — that is if I don’t eventually fail every test I take! Can you help me out?

–Brilliant Stoner
Dear Stoner: According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, daily use of marijuana will impair your memory, attention span and learning ability, and smoking large amounts of marijuana for years will inhibit brain functions. But I’ll let you be the judge. Here’s a test to try: Are you reading this article while jogging, while lying in bed or can you barely even see these words because you’re about to pass out? If your answer is either of the two latter, I think it is time to dispose of your bong and stash of hash pronto.