The other night I was pretty stupid and decided to stay up late to watch the Rafael Nadal/Roger Federer semifinal at the Australian Open.@@http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/01/26/2610528/nadal-defeats-federer-to-reach.html@@ By “late” I mean the match started at 12:30 at night and went on into the wee hours. I fell asleep somewhere around three o’clock but not before I came to a revelation: Tennis is freaking awesome.
I’ve been a follower of tennis for years, but that Nadal/Federer match (that Nadal won, by the way) helped remind me about everything I love about the game. I know tennis has waned in popularity in the U.S. over the years, but if you’ll indulge me I’m sure I can convince at least twelve new fans to tune in for the Australian Open finals Jan. 29.@@http://www.australianopen.com/en_AU/tickets/faq.html@@
1. It’s exciting, damn it!
In tennis — like in volleyball — every time the ball is in play someone is going to score. Every time! Can you imagine if every time someone touched a ball in soccer somebody would score? Soccer would be the most popular sport in the world! Oh, wait.@@zing!@@
A tennis match can last anywhere from 59 minutes to over five hours (or, in the case of the now-legendary John Isner/Nicolas Mahut match at Wimbledon 2010@@which I, Matthew Walks, was there in person to watch@@, it can last three days).@@like Quidditch!! http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/tennis/wimbledon10/news/story?id=5322284@@ And the great thing is that no matter how far behind a player is, there is always the possibility they can come back. There’s no time limit, just points; that means that players have to go all out for every ball. They can’t just run out the clock like so many teams do in basketball or football.
2. It’s personal
Unlike in football or hockey, the players’ faces — and emotions — are out there for all to see. There’s no hiding behind a helmet or a face mask. Every tear dropped and every swear word uttered will be picked up by dozens of cameras. You like crazy people? Maria Sharapova@@http://www.mariasharapova.com/@@ talks to herself constantly. Into hotheads? Check out some sweet YouTube videos of a classic John McEnroe@@http://www.biography.com/people/john-mcenroe-9391860@@ meltdown from back in the day. Or tune in to any current Serena Williams match to see some fireworks. And the best part of any big-time tennis match is the inevitably awesome celebration of the winner. That final point of the Isner/Mahut match is a personal favorite.
3. Crazy outfits
You think the Ducks’ football uniforms are outrageous? Nike has become positively conservative when it comes to Oregon’s unis. Serena once wore a pleated jean skirt and leather Nike “boots” to play at the U.S. Open. At the same time. Andre Agassi frequently rocked the jorts (and a sweet mullet) during his heyday. Venus Williams wore this strange robe/toga combo at Wimbledon 2011. Even if you’re no sports fan, tennis is chock-full of frightening fashion that will keep you entertained well into the third set.
4. Hot bodz
These players are buff. And tanned. And hot. Doesn’t matter if you’re into men, women or both, you’ll get to see some eye candy no matter which match you tune into. Need I say more?
5. Men and women are equal
I’m not sure why (butts) women’s tennis players (butts) seem to be the most popular female athletes (butts) among men. Maybe it’s because you can sometimes see their butts. But besides that, I can’t think of any other sport in the world where men and women are on equal footing — they even compete together in mixed doubles! Part of it is because the athleticism involved in tennis is fairly gender-neutral — there’s no dunking or timed sprinting involved. Watching a men’s tennis match is surprisingly similar to watching a women’s tennis match. You can’t really say that about many other sports, as much as I hate to admit it.@@Wait… So watching the WNBA ISN’T the same as watching an NBA game?@@
6. Awesome rivalries
Before Nadal/Federer there was Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi,@@http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/tennis/news/story?id=4994324@@ and before that there was Jimmy Connors and John McEnroe@@http://bleacherreport.com/articles/170758-connors-and-mcenroe-resume-their-feud-the-prelude@@. And that’s just on the men’s side. Tennis is conducive to great rivalries because the best players are so often pitted against each other in the finals. Imagine if the Celtics and the Lakers were practically guaranteed to match up in the NBA Finals twenty times in a row. Or if the Red Sox and the Yankees could play for the World Series every year for a few decades. Tennis rivalries grow and deepen with every Open final, and with four a year, those rivalries can get pretty good.
With football about to end and the NBA mired in an exhausting schedule (anyone else kind of tired of watching basketball every night?) tennis may be just what you need to get out of your sporting slump. If nothing else, you’re sure to see some great ass.