Book review

How many times have you said to yourself, “I’ve really been meaning to destroy that nuclear missile silo, if only I knew how”? If you’re anything like me, it’s all the time.
Thankfully, Hunter S. Fulghum’s new book, “Don’t Try This at Home: How to Win a Sumo Match, Catch a Great White Shark, Start an Independent Nation, and Other Extraordinary Feats (for Ordinary People)” explains exactly how to destroy that nuclear missile silo. The book even has a diagram showing where to drill holes for explosives.
Or maybe you like missile silos but are having trouble paying tuition. “Don’t Try This at Home” also explains how to break into Fort Knox. Other chapters explain how to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel, borrow the “Mona Lisa” and meet aliens at Area 51.
Each chapter is broken down into four sections. The first section lists what materials will be needed. For destroying a nuclear missile silo, you’ll need things like a missile transporter-erector vehicle, one missile security team consisting of 15 to 17 armed “Security Police,” two-way radios, Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms permit number 33 and duct tape. The next section gives the time required (eight weeks for silo destruction). Then there’s background information and step-by-step instructions.
Despite the extensive instructions given in the book, unless the reader happens to be a millionaire or have an aunt or uncle with advanced weapons training, the feats are still impossible. “Don’t Try This at Home” is best suited for occupying space on the coffee table or the back of the toilet than anything else. At least there the book will be able to entertain your guests — and without the use of any Kevlar vests.