I recently purchased a bike. A dark blue, wide handle-barred Schwinn, to be exact. This bike has been sitting in my house since the beginning of winter term. Occasionally I’ll walk past it, consider taking it for a ride, and then right as I approach it my body will become enveloped in erratic spasms. These spasms have a history to them, a history which has spawned my hatred of bikers.
Two summers ago, my friend and I were idly walking across the Hawthorne Bridge, when suddenly I was attacked. Attacked by the impact of a lady on a bicycle. All I remember is a biker swerving toward me, and cement. After being hurled into the air, the woman who hit me asked me whether I was all right. Of course I wasn’t, considering I had blood dripping down my chin, and had just been hurled through the air. Overpowered by shock, I lied and told her I thought I would be okay. In an effort to relieve her guilt, the lady then proceeded to hand me a washcloth with a giant anime cartoon sprawled across it, instructing me to place it on my chin. A few moments later, she got back on her bike, unscathed and rode away, leaving me and my friend, sitting on the bridge, completely awestruck over the events that had just occurred. It was traumatic, to say the least. This event yielded five stitches on my chin, a pretty large bottle of Vicodin and a group of doctors snickering over the absurdity of a pedestrian getting hit by a bike. I tell this story not for the mass amounts of sympathy I obviously feel I deserve, but as justification for my growing fear and hatred for those on bicycles.
As can be imagined, now, whenever a bike is headed into my general direction, I’m a bit of a mess. And who wouldn’t be? Bikes weave down the streets, and pedestrians are supposed to just adapt to this environment – as though bikes, or people, flying down the streets at 20 miles an hour are not going to be a hazard to someone on foot. Pedestrians certainly have reason to be fearful of bikers, a problem I think exists for one reason alone, and that reason is rules. I believe in the rules of the road. Call me a bit of a stickler if you wish, but I think these rules are broken far too often. The biggest problem, in my opinion, are the rules bikers decide to follow. It’s as though they feel these rules are interchangeable, deciding that “pedestrian rules” apply when they’re stopped at a light, but “car rules” apply when they feel like riding in the street. All this defiance of rules really leads to a lot of zigging and zagging around, which is never a productive environment to be walking in. So my proposition to those on bikes is to pick a set of rules and follow them. If you feel like acting like a car, act like a car, but if you’re a biker, then stay in the bike lane and don’t make your way onto the sidewalk.
Granted, I understand that bikes are important for transportation; I’m not trying to say I think everyone should walk, or everyone should drive cars. I just think it’s time bikers and walkers came to a mutual understanding of domain. I am completely aware that we’re in your way, just as much as you’re in our way.
The other day, as I was driving down the street, a biker literally swerved around my car. Personally, I don’t understand the rationale behind that; you’re a bike, I’m a car, I can kill you. It’s all very simple. But if I do happen to kill you, I’ll probably end up in jail. And, well, I wouldn’t do well in jail.
Regardless, the only thing I ask is for bikers to be sympathetic to walkers, such as myself, who become flustered when you ride toward us. Because the last thing I want is another five stitches in my chin, although the Vicodin wouldn’t be too bad.
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Have pity: bicyclists are scary to me
Daily Emerald
April 17, 2007
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