Avocado assailant
A former tow-truck driver in San Diego County, Calif., admitted to stealing avocados from nearby groves to help feed his family. No jail time will be enforced as long as he stays away from groves and doesn’t possess more than ten avocados at a time, which is punishment enough.
Batman and batty man are two different things
Take Mark Wayne Williams’ advice, kids — don’t try to be Batman. Williams, then 31, was detained by Michigan police after being trapped hanging upside-down in a sweat-soaked batsuit. The “real-life batman” was in possession of a baton, chemical irritant spray and lead-lined gloves. He is receiving a sentence of six months without his secret identity for resisting and obstructing an officer, as well as the initial charges of trespassing and carrying a deadly weapon.
Lost in translation
Tom Boddingham has two differently sized feet. So when he wanted some slippers he custom ordered some — one size 13 and the other 14.5. But the manufacturers in China misread the order and made him one size 13 and one size 1,450. The error was rectified and they sent him the appropriate size, but he is still left with a slipper that is seven feet long — so large, in fact, that he can fit into it like a makeshift sleeping bag. Apparently, workers at the factory didn’t bat an eye at the request as they thought it was a prop for a window display.
Burn before reading?
Soldiers in a remote outpost made headlines this week after a picture on an anonymous soldier’s Tumblr page went viral. Conservative pundit Bill O’Reilly’s book “Pinheads and Patriots: Where You Stand in the Age of Obama” was sent to the soldiers who didn’t take to kindly to the gesture. The soldier said, “Some jerk sent us two boxes of this awful book … instead of anything soldiers at a remote outpost in Afghanistan might need, like, say, food or soap.” The soldier later clarified that while he wasn’t sad to see the books “taken out of circulation,” the reasons weren’t political. They destroyed the books due to limited space and military necessity.
The hot new trend
Berlin police said Sunday that a string of cars set on fire was not due to political unrest, but good, old-fashioned capitalist envy. One man in specific set alight 100 cars, 67 of them being luxury cars, all in a three-month spree. The total amount of cars burnt this year soars past 470, while 500 police officers have been detailed at night to deal with the increasingly burning issue. The 100-car arsonist said basically that he felt those with luxury cars deserved such an outcome, while police didn’t specify motives for the other crimes.