Opinion: They had a good run, but the Heard v. Depp trial has shown me the public can’t be trusted with sensitive legal information any longer.
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The case is finally over. After weeks of deliberation, debate, discovery and defecation, the defamation case between celebrities Amber Heard and Johnny Depp has reached a decision. 

Citizens, followers and stan accounts clambered to their keyboards and waited with eager anticipation. On the forefront of everyone’s mind was the all-important question: what does Braydon Iverson in Eugene, Oregon, think about all this hullabaloo?

So here I am, ready to present nothing constructive in reaction to the case or its implications.

However, one truth has become so glaringly obvious throughout this case that I must make a demand. Justice should again be blind; court cases should no longer be open to the public. 

Congratulations, you all ruined it. 

A clarified and transparent judicial process is essential to a cultivated and functioning democratic society. Unfortunately, this is neither the judicial system nor the society to be merited that level of civility. The justice system in place is far from transparent, and the people within its society are far too transparent, sharing every thought they really didn’t need to. Any social media post regarding the case that I saw came with a bit of brain rot and a dose of dystopian doom.

There were fancams made about a domestic abuse and libel civil suit. People — real-life flesh-and-blood people — were shipping Depp and his lawyer throughout this. Videos of testimonies had a Kesha song in the backdrop, and not even one of her good ones. Others were claiming Heard’s wardrobe choices were manipulative, never caring to explain how that could even be manageable.

One (assumedly unemployed) individual posted on Twitter an extensive list of celebrity names: anyone who openly supported or liked a post of Depp’s. Surely if you write their name in your Notes app and turn on dark mode that counts as “blacklisting,” right?

Then there’s this guy that made a sketch out of it, which may be the goofiest video of the lot. He believes we’ll think he’s cool because he edited one of Depp’s laughs after he said something. “Guys I’m funny! Look, Johnny thinks so! Good ol’ John, best mates.”

These are all very clear signs to get out of the casino while we still have a court system and rulings aren’t Instagram polls. 

Almost all of this garbage content surrounding the case is negatively directed at Heard, and it’s astonishing how unperceptive you all still are. We just acknowledged where all that “feminist gets owned” type content was taking us ten years ago, but as soon as Depp does it, everyone turns into Mario and jumps down the alt-right pipeline again.

I know it’s hard to see Captain Jack Sparrow as a bad person, but perhaps Disney should remind you what pirates were actually like. Neither Depp or Heard sound like people that should be idolized; this is a grim legal dispute and sides should not be taken, only a verdict decided. But you all can’t help yourselves, can you?

For now, I propose we simply close all courts to private access and not allow anything but the ruling to be known publicly. Anything said or witnessed will not be disclosed to anyone that wasn’t there when it happened. We don’t get to know any more based on what you all did to this trial. Maybe they’ll tell someone like me — really smart and intelligent — what happened so I could tell you all — not as smart or intelligent —the events of the case, but that’s all you get. 

We now have to let this fractured judicial system run with no leash; I hope you’re happy. Was that person wrongfully accused? Was evidence against this person forged? Now we’ll never know, but at least no one can make a god-awful parody song out of the court case.

The experiment is over: democracy and the Fifth Amendment can be turned off now as we gambled too far with them that people can’t be trusted anymore.  A police-state might not be all that bad, you know. I probably wouldn’t have to hear that sound effect over a very serious court clash in a facist dictatorship. My tyrannical overlords would never subject me to a public celebrity court case ever again.