It was bound to happen.
With all the hype that has been gathered around the world ending in 2012 (this year, in case you lost track of what year it was), a couple of crazies were bound to take it to the extreme. Now, I’m not talking about some priest buying billboards and bus benches, advertising the apocalypse with a capital “A.” I am talking about someone throwing caution to the wind and creating a scene that sounds more Hollywood than reality. This particular instance of which I am alluding to has kicked off what is to be a campaign of end-of-the-world crime sprees.
It starts in Utah a few days before the New Year. A couple decided to steal a car from their friend. They took the car and broke into an elderly couple’s house. They stole stuff from them and killed the couple. After that, they abandoned the car and told the friend where it was, stole another car and headed for Nevada. After a carjacking pit stop in Wells, Nev., their next stop was in nearby Wendover. They tried to steal a car from a lady in the parking lot of a casino, but she fought back. They shot her in the head. She survived, but the couple managed to avert the police (who had warrants out for their arrest), the spikes the highway patrol put on the road, and hey, let’s throw the big j-word out there while we’re at it — justice. (Not Jesus.)
Eventually, the couple was caught because their car broke down (how lovely of karma to make an appearance in B.F.N., Nev.). They didn’t deny the crimes they committed, nor did they fight with the police. They merely stated (as I have previously mentioned) that since the world was going to end, it didn’t matter what they did. So, instead of spending every dime they had on a really fancy dinner, take a random trip to Disneyland or tell every person they know just what they think of them, they decided to kill people and steal things.
When my dad told me about this story, my first thought was, “How stupid are these people?” Not because they thought the world was going to end, but because they thought that breaking the law was a good way to go out with a bang. When I think about it, it reminds me of that iconic scene in “Meet the Robinsons,” where bowler-hat man took the baby bowler hat to control a T-Rex. And while the T-Rex had main character Lewis in the corner, the dinosaur reaches for the kid but can’t and says, “I have a big head and small arms. And, I think this plan was not well-thought through.” This couple had a big head and tiny arms. Their plan was not well-thought through. This couple was suspected of drug use. I guess this example of a thoughtless, immoral crime only shows that drugs will turn your brain and soul to mush.
Just because it’s the fabled 2012, and people who believe in the Farmer’s Almanac of a Mayan Calendar @@what?@@are frantically crossing tasks off their bucket lists doesn’t mean crime should be one of them. It’s not like getting drunk, where you at least have to do it once in your life. Now if the world really does end, and people are enjoying the rest of their lives doing normal, end-of-the-world stuff like going to church and spending every cent in their bank account, it would really suck to be this couple who have to sit in a prison cell and eat watered-down plastic wrap as a last meal.
Quite frankly, I don’t see how the world is going to magically end on the 21st of December — or this year for that matter. No string of natural disasters will wipe out the human race completely. A meteor may have made quick work of the dinosaurs, but we humans are too genetically diverse for that. Judgment Day … I’ll leave that for the Pope to figure out. That only leaves Nuclear Holocaust and Zombies. I have yet to see a single strain of zombie disease, so that’s definitely out. I’ll leave Nuclear Holocaust on the board, though: According to the “End of Ze World” video on YouTube, that’s still a fair, logical game.
The year is just getting started, and I can only imagine there are plenty of other crazies out there forging their own kamikaze mission who will break the news. I’m putting my money on thirty. As my mom says, “You can’t fix stupid.”