Higher education is like ordering fast food.
“Hi! Welcome to University of Oregon,” says the cherry-cheeked girl behind the counter. “What can I get for you today?”
“I would like … um, a number three.”
“OK,” she responds, her face painted into a perma-smile. “One business degree. Would you like some music or journalism to go with that?”
“Nah. But I think I will take some law.”
“A business degree with a side of law,” she says as her fingers dance over the computer keys. “That will be $22,456.”
“Does that include books?”
“No, but they can help you at the next window if you would like to buy them now.” She hands you a piece of paper.
You shake your head and try to make sense of the jumble of numbers screaming up at you from the page. The people behind you are fidgeting and moving closer to you, as if willing you to move faster. Must make a quick decision. You sign your name. She snatches the paper back and quickly files it in the gray file cabinet behind her.
Then she shouts, “NEXT!”
At the next window you get your books, which cleans out your savings account at the same time. You sit down in an uncomfortable plastic chair and study. You wade through the material, and when you finally finish the last chapter of the last book, you go and stand by the counter waiting for your order. A man in thick bifocal glasses pops up behind the counter, shakes your hand and hands you a red plastic tray with a piece of paper on it.
That’s it. You have what you ordered. Now what?
A cheery blond sits behind the counter. She is with another customer so you have to wait for 15 minutes. Finally she glances in your direction.
You ask, “What I am supposed to do with this?”
“Hang it on your wall.” She smiles, showing off a dimple in her left cheek as she turns to her next customer.
The explanation is simple. Universities take way too much credit. They argue with each other over which school is better and spend a fortune on goofy ads to attract “customers,” when the truth is, one college is pretty much the same as any other college. Just as McDonald’s is basically like Burger King. Some people like McDonald’s better. They think there’s a difference, when really, it’s all a matter of personal preference. You create the difference between the two competitors.
It’s the same for college. College takes care of the paper and the administration to get you that degree with your name on it. You just tell them what you want to study and they provide the products to help you educate yourself. The college is good or bad according to you, not them. They have nothing to do with it, other than acting as a supplier. A college doesn’t get you experience. You must find your internships and careers. It doesn’t provide friends. You have to find them, too.
You do all the hard work, and you pay for it. And you get what you pay for. If it’s a bargain, expect trade-offs such as overcrowding (because everyone likes a bargain) and less staff to assist you.
College does differ from McDonald’s in one very important respect: McDonald’s is cheaper.