Before coming to the University of Oregon, I spent 13 years of my life attending the same private school in Portland. Socially, private schools are hell. Kindergarten was my first year there, and that was where I met the fifty or so kids I’d be spending the next 13 years with. From kindergarten through elementary, then middle to high school, all of my classes were populated by the same few faces. Some of those faces became my best friends but some also made my time at school much worse.
But that’s the point of private schools, as small class sizes and an involved community are intended to be conducive of student success. Generally, those principals hold true. If academics were the only factor in the high school experience then my time there would have been amazing—but that’s not the case.
Going from middle school to high school is supposed to be an opportunity for a fresh start, but at my school, fresh starts were a pipe dream. Though high school allowed us freshmen to mingle with seniors, they were the same seniors who I once shared a playground with in elementary school. Rumors spread fast and had a big impact, and if there was someone at school you wanted to avoid, tough luck.
Social dynamics didn’t change often because friend groups were tight and often hostile; cliques became a serious issue when new students came and felt ostracized. Relationships in school were further complicated by ever-present parents who would turn to the school for help at the drop of a hat. A student could complain to their parents who would, in turn, complain to the school resulting in consequences for other students. This cycle was routine and unavoidable because many families had serious financial holdings with the school. Families with three or four kids who attended kindergarten through twelfth grade and made frequent donations were given special attention.
Steep academic standards meant to keep kids motivated ended up being a point of contention between students because of how obvious it was who was succeeding and who wasn’t. Despite their best attempts, my school couldn’t make every kid succeed. Some kids couldn’t take the academic pressure, but far more ended up leaving the school because of social issues. Junior year my high school lost a record number of students, and there was even a police investigation for sexual assault in the grade above me. At the end of the year the principal ended up leaving to pursue a different career, and the community was a mess.
It may sound like my thirteen years in private school were all bad, but that isn’t true. The social environment made my friends and I incredibly close, and I had a lot of really good teachers. Private school did set me up for college academically, but socially it handicapped me. That is part of the reason I chose to come to UO, I wanted to me a small fish in a big pond instead of the other way around. I was one of three kids from my class to come to UO, which is abnormally high for my high school because public colleges were generally looked down upon. Applying to college was a stressful process as it is for most people, but after thirteen years of buildup, my decision on where to go felt like it would determine the rest of my life.
Private school is still a legitimate option for parents hoping to give their kids a different experience, despite what I said before. For some, the academic advantage outweighs the social disadvantage, but don’t ever let anyone tell you there isn’t a social disadvantage.
