While many of us search for our significant others here in Eugene, other students commit to serious relationships from afar. Despite the dismal belief that a person can’t maintain a long-distance relationship, many college students are doing so happily and fervently.
I was among the skeptics of the long-distance relationship. That was, until my boyfriend moved to North Dakota for college.
I then found myself in a new, vulnerable situation I had never imagined. But eventually, the experience changed me into a believer that a long-distance relationship can exist outside of the realm of Hollywood pictures.
For others, this sort of relationship is not new. University sophomore Hayley Murphy’s five-year relationship has been mainly long distance with her boyfriend who lives in Whitefish, Mont. Murphy has witnessed how long-distance relationships are often perceived.
“People think long distance is a waste of time, almost like it is a prolonged break up,” Murphy said.
Long-distance relationships often embody a roller coaster that falls off its tracks during some point of the ride. In the end, everyone gets hurt or, at best, experiences a well-learned lesson. But it is possible for couples to make a relationship work despite the distance. Whether they are two hours or 2,000 miles away, long-distance relationships are tough but not impossible.
Now it is strange to think about how many superstitions revolve around the label “long distance.” As I recall, one time while down stairs at the Amtrak concession stand, my boyfriend and I enthusiastically explained our alternating spring break plans to a woman. It was apparent we were in the midst of a long-distance relationship without the verbal confirmation.
I was then stumped when she replied, “Oh, that’s too bad.”
In hindsight, the woman meant it was too bad we had to leave one another. Yet, it was a reoccurring answer I’m beginning to become familiar with. People who try long-distance relationships seem to always have to sacrifice something in order to do so. We live in the a delusional world where outsiders seem to already know the outcome of our relationships. We spend our Saturday nights at home and often find ourselves spending countless hours tied up on the phone. Despite the tint of truth some of the statements do have, a long-distance relationship doesn’t exactly have to retract from one’s social or
academic lifestyle.
Though the forms of communication become more reliant on the telephone or Internet, it doesn’t make the partners hermits incapable of a normal relationship.
It does not require each partner giving up certain aspects of their lives to be with one another. Most of the time, people in long-distance relationships are able to grow as people and as partners while still maintaining some normalcy.
Opinions on the matter are often varied based on previous experience, however. If someone has experienced a bad incident in a long-distance relationship, it is hard to shake off. But don’t let that completely deter you from the idea. You just need to find a way to cope with the inability to see one another face to face.
“You just need to realize the relationship is going to be different than how it has been or is when you’re together,” Murphy said. “It’s not bad. It’s just another leg of the journey.”
A long-distance relationship has the potential and stability of any other relationship; it is as simple as finding the right person and making it work.
“If you care about someone that much and know you need them in your life, it can work. It will be hard, but it’s not impossible to be happy, in love and not living in the same town or even state,” Murphy said.
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