Picture this: You just graduated from high school, and you’re teeming with excitement because a new chapter of your life is starting soon. The memories of high school are still simmering on the surface, but you are ready for college. You look over and see your romantic partner, and you do not know what to do. You have been together for a while, and thinking about breaking up makes your eyes turn red and your head throb, but staying together seems too committed. A looming question for those who are in relationships from high school is: Do I stay with my partner and try long-distance?

Long-distance relationships can be very complicated for anyone at any age. When people have romantic feelings for each other, it’s hard to be apart. Some first-year college students may be with their high school sweetheart their first year. However, there is a debate about whether one should stay with their high school partner. The argument usually lands somewhere on the spectrum between high school relationships holding you back or high school relationships providing stability and comfort during an overwhelming time.

Eliza Aronson is a third-year student at the University of Oregon who has personal experiences with this debacle. At the end of high school, Aronson was in a relationship with her then-boyfriend. She was debating between breaking up and trying long-distance. As some people do, Aronson made a pros and cons list, trying to sort out all of her feelings. In the end, Aronson decided to break up with her boyfriend.

“Breaking up sucked, but I don’t regret it,” Aronson said. “I think it was good for us to do that because I wanted my own experiences.”

 A piece of advice Aronson had for first-years going through this experience was: “College is not about staying in a safe zone; it’s about pushing yourself and meeting new people. It’s easy to stay in your comfort zone when you’re still in a relationship from high school.”

However, not everyone is in the same boat as Aronson. While her opinions echo the majority of what popular culture and parents push, some students find themselves more in the middle.

Bergen Nigro is a fourth-year student at the University of Oregon and also has dealt with long-distance relationships in college. Her opinion about long-distance relationships lands more in the middle of the spectrum than Aronson’s. Nigro recently got out of a long-distance relationship. “I liked her, but an hour’s distance driving was a lot and busy for life,” she said.  “We would switch off every other weekend seeing each other, but I had less time for friends.”

For Nigro, the main reason for ending her long-distance relationship was that her heart was not fully in it. But, she said her main opinion is to “go with your gut. If the pros outweigh the cons, then it may be important to hold on. When you’re out and you’re at parties and stuff, if you’d rather be with them, then it may be worth it.”

Long-distance relationships can be very difficult. Figuring out when to talk with your partner, making plans and figuring yourself out — it all becomes overwhelming. So, if you’re someone who is debating between staying in a long-distance relationship or breaking it off, remember that you are young, and it’s okay to be unsure about the relationship you’re in. Take the time to evaluate the pros and cons, and ask for advice from others if you need it.